The Long Night

Esa Hytti
April 10th, 2019

I stir awake from the nights slumber
Having slept and yet not rested
Having been unconscious
Yet also lost within my mind


I look to the East
A darkened sun rises
I turn and look to the West
Where shadows replace the darkness


I see but do not observe
I hear and yet I do not listen
To the growing sights of nature
To the increasing sounds of Earth


The loud silence within my mind
Pierces my ears when I’m at rest
The emptiness fills up the void
The space around my senses and within


The purpose to my reality
Fades away from existence
Like a mist, a colorless mist
Vanishing without recompense


I emerge from my soft tomb
My place of motionless comfort
Where the mind and body disconnect
If not for but a moment, a time so short


I rise up to cleanse myself
Of physical dirt but not emotional rot
The waters bring heat to the body
But within the soul there is no warmth


I eat but this daily bread
It does not nourish
I consume, I ingest
But it does not satisfy


The water that I drink
Seeps through dark caverns within
A solitary journey of desolation
As the wellspring of life sits withered


Before I depart
From this cemetery of safety
I raise my head to grey skies
And speak words that do not comfort


“Our Father who art not present
Cursed be my name
Thy will in Heaven
I see not on Earth


Forgive me my failures
And release me from the grave
Lead me not into darkness
For I am already there. Amen”

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